Barack Obama: “Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms.”
Oof, speechwriter Jon Favreau decidedly choked — Obama would have been better off using this Jon Favreau. “The country’s money, baby!” Today’s inauguration speech was decidedly missing its “The only thing we have to fear…” moment.
Even the panic-on-a-whim folks on Wall Street don’t seem phased by soaring rhetoric. As our new president spelled out his lofty aspirations, here’s how the market responded:
Have fun, Mr. President.
Oh, glory day, our new king messiah president has come to power. And just in time, because our mortgage was coming due, and now I don’t have to pay it, right? If I get behind, Obama will save me! And I can’t wait for tomorrow, when Iran discontinues its quest for nuclear weapons, Israel and the Hamas shake hands and make nice, the stock market will climb to over 20,000, and we’ll all be able to get back to just thinking about puppies. Is that a unicorn in my backyard? Look, I just pooped a rainbow!
I can’t believe this day has finally arrived — it’s so inspiring that a man from the rough and tumble streets of Honolulu, Hawaii, raised by loving grandparents, who attended a private college prep school and went on to study in prestigious universities and receive a law degree, well, that even he, too, can become President of the United States of America. *sniff*
